Campfire Tales - September, 1997

Grand Staircase National Monument

by
Larry E Heck

Another of the many adventures of PASS PATROL

Last year, our honorable President in all his infinite wisdom, created something called the Grand Staircase National Monument.  Okay, so the name is longer than that but after a while a fella just gets tired of putting all those words in there and getting them in the right order.  I just call it Grand Staircase.

Before President Clinton took it upon himself to bypass all the normal channels to create such a monument, that part of the country received very little attention.  I must confess, no one in the Pass Patrol 4X4 Travel Club had ever been there except for the part that includes the Hole in the Rock trail east of Escalante, Utah.

There were several really strange moments in the overall creation of Grand Staircase.  First of all, the President didn’t even go to Utah to dedicate it.  Kinda makes us wonder if he has ever even seen it at ground level.  Of all places, he chose Grand Canyon in Arizona to dedicate Grand Staircase in Utah.

Secondly, President Clinton put Grand Staircase under the care of the BLM.  The BLM ain’t never had a Monument to care for before so they seem to be real confused as to what to do with it.  Depending on who you talk to, you may be told that all the roads in Grand Staircase have been closed to motor vehicles.  Of course if the Grand Staircase would have been put under the care of the Park Service, that is most likely what would have happened.  So if you talk to someone and get such a response, it’s probably because they asked the Park Service what to do with a monument and they were told to close all the roads.

I have a copy of the actual document with President Clinton’s proclamation of Grand Staircase and it specifically states, “families will be able to use this canyon as they always have - the land will remain open for multiple uses including hunting, fishing, hiking, camping, and grazing.”

Based on that document, I decided to go see what was out there.  Ramblin’ Rose and Loco Weed decided to tag along.  We were pleased with what we found.  High plateaus, deep magnificently carved canyons, and (with a short side trip into Glen Canyon Rec Area) spectacular views of Lake Powell.  The only road we found that could really be called “serious” 4wheeling is the one we’ve saved for our Wild Bunch Class Reunion.  All the other roads were either graded or just mild 4wheeling over rocks and up steep inclines.

We found lots of great campsites but most of them came with regiments of mosquitoes until the night cooled off enough for them to go away.

The BLM has a map of Grand Staircase but don’t waste your money.  They took all the roads off it.  The USGS has a good one called “Topographic Map of the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, Utah”.  The scale is 1:200,000 making it a little difficult to read.  We preferred the older 1:100,000 USGS maps named “Escalante” & “Smoky Mountain”.  The “Pannguitch” and “Kanab” maps also include parts of the monument but we didn’t go that far west.

Happy Trails.

Shortcut to Jamestown

I dropped my wife off at work about 10 o’clock Sunday morning.  “What are you doing today,” she asked.

“Me and some guys are going to Jamestown on a road I haven’t done in lots of years.  It won’t take long.  I’ll pick you at 5.”

“Boy!  That just didn’t work!”

Me and Gadget (my oldest son) met Trapdoor in Boulder about eleven o]clock and the three vehicles headed for Old Stage Road.  It had been ten years since I had been on the shortcut to Jamestown and I didn’t remember it being that rough.  We were only on the trail about twenty minutes before the winch cables and straps came out. We negotiated one obstacle at a time and inched our way up the mountain.  At 4pm we still hadn’t made it to the top and ole Trigger, my Trooper, was pointed at a jagged rock the size of a school bus that had to be conquered.  Two folks on mountain bikes came up the trail pushing their bikes to the rock.

“Looks like you got yourself in a fine mess,” the lady commented.

“What kind of mess,” I asked.

“You can’t believe your truck is gonna climb that rock.”

I grinned and climbed inside.  “I’ve climbed worse than this in the rain.”  I pulled the lever into low-low and aimed that TJM bumper at the rock.  To the biker’s surprize, the bumper cleared the rock and the front BFG tires grapped two pointed outcropping and began to do what BFG tires do best.  Trigger’s long wheel travel went to work keeping those BFGs firmly planted and a few seconds later I was on top the rock and starting down.  I stopped and got out to bask in my success.  The two bikers were completely amazed at what they had just seen.  Trapdoor and I decided to get some extra mileage out of the moment and started exchanging stories about the time when we did worse rocks in a rain storm.  About that time, mother nature sent a dark cloud over the top of the mountain, let out a roar of thunder, and proceeded to dump on us big time.

“We gotta go,” the bikers announced and proceeded pushing their bikes up the mountain.

With all that rain coming down, I figured I better get ole Trigger off that rock so I hoped in, pulled the lever into low-low, inched forward, slipped sideways, and highcentered that poor ole truck on a big hump in the rock.

“Now you did it,” Trapdoor said.  “Good thing them bikers already left or you would have embarrassed us big time.”

“That ain’t all,” Gadget added.  “It’s five o’clock.  You’re supposed to be back in Denver picking Mom up at work and you got your truck hung up on a big rock in a rain storm.”

I don’t know how to handle so much good news all at once.  Gadget got on the cell phone and called Dusty (my number two son) to go get his mother at work while I pulled out the Warn cable and pulled ole Trigger back up on that slippery rock he slid off of.  By the time Gadget finished the call, I had ole Trigger off the rock and half way up the hill but we still had to get two more trucks over the rock.  At least the rain stopped.

Gadget’s Amigo made it to the rock and half way up but didn’t have the wheel travel to get on top so out came the Warn winch cable again.  Trapdoor’s  Bronco never even made it to the rock before it got hung up real good, then once we got it to the rock we dang near took out the whole driver’s side rocker panel trying to get it over the top.  Fortunately, his Warn 9,000 rescued him both times.

It took us another two hours to get down the other side of the mountain but we finally arrived in Jamestown and headed back to Boulder on the pavement.

If you decide to take this shortcut, there are a few things you should consider.  First of all, you need a winch or at least some lockers.  Secondly, if you are fussy about your paint and rocker panels, better find another trail to go on.  And third, don’t tell your wife you’ll pick her up at five o’clock.  They get even.  Happy Trails.

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