|
DESPERADOS WANTED
Four desperados, known only as Outlaw, Slowpoke, Leadfoot,
and Magnolia. (We expect Sundance was involved too). These desperados are suspected of
demonstrating total disrespect for Rulebook 7, page 1113, Chapter 6G6,
paragraph 108.6B9 which states that anyone camping in the national park must
stop at the Ranger station and receive a lecture concerning backcountry camping
techniques.
One of their gang, alias Wild One, was captured and held at
the ranger station for questioning.
During interrogation, our officers learned Outlaw’s band of desperados
had come across a vacant campsite within the park boundary and had sent Wild
One to the Ranger Station to sneak in and reserve it for them. Once it was determined the rest of the gang
had no intentions of coming in for their lecture, a posse was formed to after
them. During the confusion, Wild One
sneaked out the door and was last seen headed for California where it is
suspected she will attempt to reunite with the gang.
The desperados were tracked to the bottom of Bobby’s Hill
which is impassable from the bottom up, but somehow they faked their tracks to
make it look like they went up it.
|
|
It is
not clear just how they escaped capture, however an informant has provided
information that a member, known only as Sundance, has connections with
extraterrestrial beings that may have whisked them off in some sort of UFO.
These desperados are considered unarmed and harmless. If you see them, don’t eat any muffins cooked
by a member named Sunshine. Our Ranger
Rick found one left at a UFO landing site and, after taking one bite, has
required extensive dental work. Rest
assured, they will not escape the long arm of the law. We will capture them and them to write, “I
will never skip my lecture again” one hundred times in ancient Anasazi dialect.
Editor’s note:
Just in case you’re wondering, there may have been some
parts of the previous story that may have been slightly exaggerated. Okay so maybe it’s all exaggerated. Okay so maybe there isn’t much truth in any
of it. It’s all Dutchy’s fault for
putting too much sugar in the Outlaw Cake.
|
|